As moms, we get used to fixing things. We handle bad days, big feelings, and all the little problems that come up at home. But a few years ago, someone in my family started going through something I didn’t know how to fix.
At first, we thought it was just stress. Life gets overwhelming sometimes, and we assumed things would settle down on their own. But they didn’t. Little by little, we started noticing mood swings, anxiety, and eventually some unhealthy coping habits we couldn’t ignore anymore.
It was scary and, honestly, confusing. We kept hearing terms like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) from therapists, and I remember thinking, what do these even mean? And how do we know what actually helps?
Along the way, we learned that these are two types of therapy that can help in very different ways. If you’ve ever been in this kind of situation, I hope this helps make things a little clearer.
What Does It Mean to Have More Than One Struggle?
In our case, it wasn’t just one issue. There was emotional pain and unhealthy habits happening at the same time. We later learned this is called dual diagnosis. It simply means someone is dealing with both mental health challenges and something like substance use at the same time.
What I didn’t understand back then is that you can’t treat just one part and expect things to improve. The two are connected, which is why diagnosis treatment became such an important part of the process.
The First Type of Therapy We Heard About: CBT
The first type of therapy we heard about was CBT, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It was explained to us in a way that finally made sense. Your thoughts affect how you feel, and how you feel affects what you do. Once I understood that, I started to see the pattern clearly. There were constant thoughts like, “Nothing will get better,” and those thoughts led to heavy emotions. Those emotions then led to unhealthy choices, creating a cycle that felt hard to break.
CBT helped interrupt that cycle. Over time, I saw my loved one begin to notice negative thoughts instead of immediately believing them. They learned how to question those thoughts and slowly replace them with more realistic ones. It wasn’t instant, but little by little, their daily choices started to improve. It felt very practical, almost like learning life skills step by step.
Then We Learned About DBT
Later on, another therapist introduced DBT, or Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and this approach felt different right away. Instead of focusing mostly on thoughts, DBT focused on emotions, especially the intense and overwhelming ones. If CBT is about changing thoughts, DBT is more about handling feelings without falling apart in the moment.
I remember one night very clearly. Things had been building all day, and by evening everything just spilled over. There were tears, frustration, and that feeling of being completely overwhelmed. Normally, that kind of moment would have led to shutting down or making a harmful choice. But this time was different. I watched them pause, take a breath, and use one of the tools they had learned. It wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t easy, but they got through that moment without making things worse. That moment stayed with me because it showed that these tools actually work in real life.
DBT teaches skills like staying present, getting through difficult moments safely, managing strong emotions, and improving relationships. For us, it made a huge difference during the hardest times, when thinking clearly just wasn’t possible.
What I Noticed Between CBT vs DBT
Looking back, the biggest difference between CBT and DBT became very simple in my mind. CBT helped with thinking patterns, while DBT helped with emotional overwhelm. Both were important, just in different ways. Some days required challenging negative thoughts, while other days were about getting through a tough moment safely.
Can someone use both?In our experience, using both made the biggest impact. CBT helped rebuild healthier thinking, and DBT helped manage the emotional ups and downs. Together, they created a sense of balance that we hadn’t seen before.
What I Wish I Knew Earlier
If you’re supporting someone right now, there are a few things I wish I had known earlier. You don’t need to understand everything right away. It’s okay to ask questions and have things explained in simple terms. Progress can be slow, and that’s normal. Most importantly, the right tools really can make a difference over time, even if it doesn’t feel like it at first.
What Healing Started to Look Like
Healing didn’t happen overnight for us, but we did start to see small changes. There were fewer emotional blowups, better coping during stressful moments, and healthier decisions overall. Life felt a little calmer and more stable. It wasn’t perfect, but it was progress, and that mattered.
Final Thoughts on CBT vs DBT
If you’re hearing terms like CBT and DBT and feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. You don’t need to memorize definitions or figure everything out at once. Some people need help changing how they think. Others need help managing how they feel. Many people need both. With the right support, things really can get better.
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